Legalese

Before I get into the heart of this (long) post, I want to deliver this teaser: the current portions of my ballad are essentially done. Unfortunately, it's not complete because it ends wretchedly. (More torture available upon request). But on the the real news.
As some of you may be able to attest, I love finding loopholes in legalese. Which made things even more fun as I plugged them for my eBay return policy (as follows). It's not perfect, but the last clause is a catch-all, so everything is good (feel free to skip past it):

Returns for a refund can be made if the item is not as advertised, and the warranty provided does not cover the issue. In such a case, an exchange may be available.
If the item is as advertised, and has not been unsealed, then a $10 restocking fee applies to returns.
Any other return is subject to seller approval.
If the item has already shipped, then shipping and handling fees will not be refunded.
Returns being shipped backed to the seller are the responsibility of the buyer. This includes, but is not limited to, any fees involved with shipping and shipping reliability. Final return conditions will be neither analyzed, determined, nor applied until the seller has the item in question. If a return is rejected after the return process begins, additional fees (i.e. shipping and handling fees) may apply for the buyer to receive the item.
Other conditions may apply (please contact for specifics).

I've already made $20 off of some idiot who bought something, paid for it, canceled it, bought another item, paid for it, and then canceled it. And talking on the phone, the guy reminded me of my old roommate who didn't have the mental capacity to think (you know, with a brain) - so I was glad to take free money from him (ok, it's an ebay-listing/fix-a-spreadsheet/unpack-a-box charge).
Think me great, or think me evil, you know you wish you could swim the capitalist waters in your free time like I do. Speaking of which, with one investor already on board I am looking to expand. If you're a friend of mine looking for some unearned income better than any bank will offer, drop me a line (I'm not even kidding).
On the subject of investing, Apple shares (AAPL) have dropped ~$70 (to ~$130) in the last few weeks. And despite our impending economic doom, AAPL predictions still maintain themselves at ~$210. Now is the time!

Pompous Post & MLK-Day

So I am good. Not as good as the IS freshman who deferred CMU several years to actually work in the field, but pretty good. And I am constantly running into computer science (CS) majors who know diddly-squat. Which amazes me (considering I was rejected by them). But hey - at least I discovered IS because of it, and I wouldn't change majors for the world.
Oh, I was trying to explain to Quinn W. why I loved programming. And this was my analogy: Programming is like Jello, and the programmer is the mold. You take the ingredients and mix 'em up. Then you have a scrumptious morsel that is practically alive.
Speaking of programming, I was talking Java (for the uninitiated- that's a programming language) with a CS student when someone else (one of the uninitiated) walks into the room and sits down. After a few moments listening in, she asks, "Is that a riddle?". Ha!
I've also been in the iPod resell biz for almost two months now (it's had it's ups and downs). And I've been caught by Apple a couple of times (apparently what I'm doing violates their sales TOS). Yay for aliases! And I don't want to give myself too much importance. But it seems like I am changing Apple methods. For the first time ever I got an automated message letting me know I had been red-flagged as a reseller (they used to call me when they figured it out).
Oh, and since it is MLK day I have this to say:
Equality is not equality. Only when it stops being equality, and it just is.
Yeah I know it isn't a complete sentence - but that's how it is.

First Day of Spring Classes

And it is snowing. I've only had one class so far (my German professor even speaks the language differently than I've heard before), and I am still glad to be back in the thick of things (though I'm sure that will fade).
So I got this amusing email from CMU Alumni Relations. Apparently because I've survived a semester, I am technically a CMU Alum.
SItting here, I have also come to the informal conclusion (which I have also read about before), that batteries get better with age. I know, it doesn't make any sense, but my battery life is at least an hour longer than it was when I first got it.

What's that Smell?

This road-trip I've been on has been extremely illuminating. For example, did you know GM owns a small town in Ohio called Lordstown? And it has no food and no gas, and two whole exits off of I-90. (We accidentally pulled off there on the way up.)
I've also been off of the poetic beat for a while. But stay tuned - I must have been storing inspiration, cause some of the stuff I've been penning would make Apollo proud. And since it has been leaked anyway, I may as well let everyone know I am writing a ballad (loosely based on reality) - but it is far from completion.
Oh, here is an amusing anecdote. So I've been hanging with my CH friends over break. And at some point we were trying to remember who the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse were. We got Famine and Death, but that's it (we also mistook Conquest to be Pestilence). So someone decided the other would be Stench. So just remember - next time you smell something funny, it may be then end of the world!
Also, never eat at Buffalo Wild Wings. Not only are they really spicy - they don't even taste good. What's the point?

i be crazy - w00t (Updated)

So I'm up here in Michigan (wow - ten hour drive), and maybe I've been away from women too long (winter break taking me away from my normal life) - but if you know and love ASCII, you have a good chance of being dead sexy in my book (though of course other things factor in).
UPDATE: Ok, ok, I originally spelled "here" as "hear". My apologies to the world. I'd also like to point out I got a hint accepted by macosxhints.com (the guy writes actually for MacWorld). Check it out (but please don't bash to old alias I posted under): http://www.macosxhints.com/article.php?story=20080103015704114